If you’re asking this question and you’re looking for therapy, you might be concerned you would be wasting a therapist’s time, taking the spot of someone who “really needs it,” or wasting your own time. For anyone wondering these questions, my brief response is: It never hurts to try it out. Some people go to therapy for a less biased opinion; that is, someone who is outside of their usual environment (inner world, family, friends). Some people go to learn new ways of solving problems. There are lots of reasons, but knowing YOUR reason isn’t necessary to have a few initial sessions to see if it’s for you.

My short, potentially frustrating answer: It depends.

Some people come for a few months to focus on a specific problem. Some like to build a relationship with their therapist before tackling larger life issues. It’s difficult to give an “average” amount of time because every therapeutic relationship is different.

Importantly, you always have the right to terminate services. If it’s earlier than I would advise, I will let you know. However, social work ethics and standards note we must do what is best for the individual, meaning we terminate therapy when you reach your goals and assess you are in a stable place to move forward. It is unethical for a therapist to continue services after a client has reached the maximum benefit from the therapist’s services. Similarly, even if I think you would benefit from continuing, as long as there are no safety concerns, you may discontinue sessions at any time.

This is one of the biggest questions if you’ve never been in therapy before. Do you just talk the whole time while I scribble on a legal pad? Will it feel awkward? Will I tell you what to do or give you advice? Will I judge you or push you too hard?

While it depends on the therapist, usually the first session or two is the therapist gathering information. We may use a set of standardized assessments to get an idea of your current/recent mood and thought patterns. We may ask questions related to your history. But every therapists handles these initial sessions differently.

My hope in the initial 1-2 sessions is to build some rapport as we move through this information gathering. My overall emphasis is on the therapeutic relationship, so I set building trust as the highest priority.

You are welcome to voice any feelings that come up in the moment during sessions. Many people feel awkward at the start, and sometimes it still happens even if they know their therapist really well! Just know that whatever you feel in a session, someone else has most likely felt it before. You’re in good company.

It’s really tough to decide on a therapist when there are so many profiles on Psychology Today, Headway, Zencare, Google search, ChatGPT, and seemingly thousands of other places. It can get overwhelming fast.

Finding the right therapist for you can be the most frustrating thing, because you’re coming here for a reason and taking a chance that this one will be the right fit. While I hope to be a good fit for you, I understand I can’t be for everyone. You can trust your gut and you will never hurt my feelings if you think it’s not a “match.”

This language and the overall vibe can very much feel like dating. Sometimes you know right from the profile, sometimes it takes one to three times meeting up. But if you get the sense that it’s not going to work out, the best thing you can do is let me know and we can talk about it. Sometimes that feeling can be resistance to the therapeutic process, but sometimes it’s just not the right fit and that’s ok!

That’s totally ok. One thing about therapy that we don’t really talk about is that when we log into a session for the first time, we’re strangers to each other! Sure, you know a little about me from my website or profiles, and I know a little about you from your inquiry, but other than that, we don’t know much about each other.

It’s not your responsibility to know exactly what to say, what to do, or how to plan a session. It’s the therapist’s role to guide the conversation using various techniques. That said, we do ask that you participate in the process. As long as you come in with a commitment to the process, we can figure it out from there.

Again, I’m sorry to tell you, all normal. Much of life is learning to live in this tension of what we don’t know. Feel free to express the skepticism, the nerves, the frustrations. I promise to respect them and not just give rote responses or brush them off.

Please see my “Fees & Insurance” page for details.